As I mentioned in my last post, the last few days of my vacation did not go as planned. I ended up eating off plan and not eating well–including NMF.
I don’t know why, but it only takes one second to go off plan. But once you do, it is a long struggle to get your act back together and to stay on plan. I know Susan Pierce Thompson refers to it as “rezooming.” However, rezooming is a process.
Right now I am very upset with myself, so this might sound a bit like a rant. I had a great BLE day. I got up this morning and the morning and breakfast went as planned. I knew lunch was going to be away from home today, so it was packed and ready to go the night before. The afternoon and lunch went as planned.
I stopped by the grocery store on the way home as planned. I was pleased to find that brussel sprouts and asparagus were on sale and was looking forward to roasting them tomorrow.
I was hoping to run when I got home, but it was cold and rainy. I really wanted to do something since I hadn’t been able to run much in the last week, so I did some exercises at home. Afterwards I had my BLE dinner. It was delicious, but for some reason it didn’t seem like it filled me up like it usually does.
Late in the evening my husband announced that he was going to a nearby fast-food restaurant and asked if I wanted anything. I politely said, “No.” My daughter, however, put in her order.
It wasn’t long before my husband returned with a ton of NMF. He had gotten everything to go. Including NMF that he had bought for me.
Here is why I am frustrated: When presented with this type of situation, I have a problem not taking and not eating the NMF. It’s like I feel obligated or that I am being rude if I don’t. I cannot imagine where this feeling comes from. The only thing I can think of is that I remember visiting my grandparents’ house as a child. My grandmother always had lots of NMF ready for us when we arrived. She was constantly asking us if we wanted something. It was like she was trying to be hospitable and a good host. And as a good guest, we were to eat the fruits of her labor.
But now I feel like I am living in a very unhealthy situation. I am living with addicts that don’t even want to admit that sugar and flour addiction is a real thing, let alone to the fact that they are addicted. All they’re worried about is that the food that goes into their mouth tastes good; and, in their mind, it doesn’t taste good unless it’s loaded with sugar.
And that has created another problem. Since I’m no longer cooking with sugar and flour, they’re not very excited about what I’m making. I’m having a very difficult time trying to figure out how to incorporate BLE into our family meals. Breakfast and lunch aren’t any big deal, the difficulty comes with dinner. I’m eating a big salad every night, but I don’t dare serve that to the rest of the family. Most nights I’m making my big salad for me and cooking something else for everyone else.
I’ve asked for suggestions in a couple of Facebook groups that I’m in but haven’t really gotten any help. Some days I want to give up. Some days I want to tell everyone else in the house to grow up.
So, where am I going with all this? I’m not sure. I don’t want to be a complainer, but I don’t have a real solution at this time. A few days have passed, so I’m not quite as frustrated as I was when I started this post. I’m not finding any real help from anyone else which makes me feel quite alone, but surely there are other people out there in a similar situation.
That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.Ecclesiastes 1:9