305 lbs. The Juicer Arrives

It was finally here! The tool that was going to change my life! I was excited to have this huge box sitting in my living room. However, it was an extremely busy day. My daughter was arriving from out of state that day for a visit. I wanted to open the box so badly and take a peak but didn’t feel like I had the time to do so. What would people think? What would my daughter think? Was she going to tell everyone that her mother had lost her marbles?

My daughter finally arrived. She walked right into the living room with this big box sitting in the middle. She said, “What’s that?” I said, “A juicer.” She said, “I’ve been thinking about getting one of those. Let’s open it up.”

It was Dumber and Dumbest from that moment on. We got the juicer out of the box and figured out how to put it together and turn it on. We didn’t have anything in the house at the time that we could put through it, so it just sat there. We didn’t have a clue what to do with it.

The next day my daughter decided she wanted to try making some orange juice, so we stopped at a stand on the side of the road and bought some fresh fruits and vegetables. We bought a bag of oranges to make orange juice. It was going to be fresh; it was going to be delicious. It was going to be the best orange juice we ever tasted—golden nectar from Heaven. We just knew it!

We took the oranges home and then debated on how to juice them. Should we peel them? What about the seeds? I had watched videos where Joe Cross didn’t peel his lemons or limes, so we sent the oranges through the juicer peeling and all.

There it was, our little pitcher of golden, sunshiny goodness. We couldn’t wait to take a taste of the best orange juice on the planet. We poured a glass of juice for each one of us. We took a drink. It tasted like . . . battery acid!

We definitely were not off to a good start. All I could think of was the money I spent on these yummy oranges that were now going into the trash. It was now time for Plan B—if only we had one!

By Lori Camper

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